"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." - Mark Twain

Friday, September 30, 2011

Damage Control

So much has happened in the past couple of months. I've had to apply for disability. I've come out to my family. I've been attacked and outed by people in the community for my stand against the personhood amendment.

I have a lot of feelings about this.

Yesterday I felt pretty good. I was able to laugh and have a pretty good time. I felt creative. Today, I'm exhausted, angry, and hurt. I feel like I've done something wrong. I feel like other people are after me.

I hate bipolar disorder but I also hate humanity.

My situation with my mom went much better than it could have. She questioned and didn't want to believe it at first. The next day she attacked me, implying that I was a bully and just did stuff to hurt her. She went to great lengths that day to make it all about her which is normal considering her borderline traits. Now she really doesn't want to talk about it any more and wants me to be her best friend.

I reached out to my sister but I think maybe she's busy today. She seemed distracted. I feel guilty for bothering her.

I've done some damage control regarding the leak of my name and information. Some of it is already fixed and the rest will hopefully be fixed by tomorrow. I don't know how much damage is done. I don't really care that people know what I said online - I have not lied about anything and I stand by my beliefs. But it's disconcerting to know that someone out there that you do not know is trying to make your life hell while they hide behind their computer and laugh.

For some reason I feel angry and alone. I think the feelings are disproportionate to the events. It would be better, I think, if I could face my persecutor on even terms - face to face. Instead, I feel like he's a sniper and he's taking pot shots at me. I had little respect for this person before this: his dishonesty and complete lack of intelligence were not worthy of much respect. Now that he's done this, I have zero respect. A person who is so hateful and stupid should not be able to make me feel this way.

I know this whole thing is going to blow over in a month when the vote is done. I also know that I don't need to encourage this idiot any more by replying to him in any way. Yet it galls me beyond belief that he will have the last word and think he has silenced me. He has not scared me off - he has made me angry. Yet I do not want to overreact and make a mistake in my anger.

What do you guys think? What's the best way to deal with someone who has leaked your name and information and is telling lies? Is it really weakness to just walk away? And what is best for me and my health?

5 comments:

  1. "What's the best way to deal with someone who has leaked your name and information and is telling lies? Is it really weakness to just walk away?"

    If walking away would be weakness, then, pray tell, what would be the alternative to kicking a malicious person out of your life?

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  2. If I knew who this person was, I would certainly do so. The trouble is that he knows me and makes my info available while hiding behind his own pseudonym.

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  3. no, I don't think it's weakness. I think it's the high road and it's not adding fuel to the fire.

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  4. I don't think it's weakness to walk away, because it would take a lot of strength to just walk away. Gosh, I had something not quite the same but similar to me happen once. I remember I was so mad, and I tried everything I could to stop what this person was doing. But is it worth it? I think what's best for you and your health is to know that you're not alone and to remember what you said in your post - you have not lied about anything and you stand by your beliefs. And that's a pretty big thing, to be able to say that. THAT is strong. And don't forget to breathe.

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  5. I think it is 'live by the sword die by the sword skepticat'

    Now maybe you know what it feels like to have some arse tell a load of bull about you.

    All that stuff about your bi polar and IBS geez and where has all that medi science got you?

    REally sad man, really sad.

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