When I'm depressed:
I've never felt so tired.
I've never felt so hurt.
I've never felt so sad.
I've never felt so angry.
I've never felt so afraid.
I've never felt so ashamed.
I've never felt so weak.
I've never felt so worthless.
I've never felt so powerless.
I've never felt so useless.
I've never felt so helpless.
I've never felt so anxious.
I've never felt so overwhelmed.
I've never felt so small.
I've never felt so scrutinzed.
I've never felt so contemptible.
I've never felt so judged.
I've never felt so boring.
I've never felt so ugly.
I've never felt so dirty.
I've never felt so hopeless.
I've never felt so lifeless.
I've never felt so vulnerable.
I've never felt so disconnected.
I've never felt so human.
When I'm manic:
I've never felt so strong.
I've never felt so beautiful.
I've never felt so desired.
I've never felt so friendly.
I've never felt so powerful.
I've never felt so energetic.
I've never felt so capable.
I've never felt so entitled.
I've never felt so uncontrollable.
I've never felt so vengeful.
I've never felt so contemptuous.
I've never felt so irresistible.
I've never felt so invincible.
I've never felt so plugged in.
I've never felt so helpful.
I've never felt so sociable.
I've never felt so entertaining.
I've never felt so unstoppable.
I've never felt so exuberant.
I've never felt so sexual.
I've never felt so needed.
I've never felt so worthy.
I've never felt so confident.
I've never felt so proud.
I've never felt so divine.

I don't have BPD but I can relate to this so well. I really do I think I have cyclothymia, though. Or something. It must be something... Right now I feel the happiness, the exuberance, and am trying to figure out a way to hold on to it. It almost seems inevitable, though, that tomorrow it might be gone.
ReplyDeleteThis is so very true, and thus, so sad. And, I certainly recognize it as the way that it is too often for me also.
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